So, I'm sure some of you have noticed that I have fallen off of the face of the planet again. Sorry, I have had.... well, a busy few months. First, my Grandmother died from cancer. She found out about it in Feb and passed away at the end of May. This was hard and frankly difficult to process. Honestly, I try not to think of it, or the fact that my daughter never had the chance to meet her and never will.
So, when I look at my life now, I want to make it count. But I find myself in a situation where no matter what I do, the things that I do "don't count". The person they are done for only notices the things this person wants to notice; and anything that is contrary to their point of view of what is done to/for them angers them to no end. This person also has no regard for the people around him/her. ( I'm being purposely vague, this applies to a couple of people in my life) They go around in life treating others like crap and never once thing twice about it; until at least they receive the reciprocal treatment and they don't like it. What I want to know is, why? What purpose is there to treating others like the piece of gum you stepped on in a parking lot? Does it really make you feel better to make everyone around you feel like a big, steamy pile of crap? I'm truly curious, since I have a personality that is driven to be helpful when I can. Yes, I realize this means that I am more susceptible to being used than the next girl. But it brings me joy to be as helpful as I possibly can. So when I help someone who is such a lost cause, who can't even appreciate in the smallest iota a kindness done for them, it hurts me deeply. Don't get me wrong, I don't do it for the the appreciation. If the only thing was that they didn't say thank you, I'd move on and not care. The part that kills me is being told that I'm lazy, and I don't care. This is the truly monstrous part. I do care, and I work hard to show it.
End rant. I find this blog to be a great place to air out some of my feelings when I struggle to put them in audible words. If no one ever reads this, I honestly wouldn't care. It is like therapy, but infinitely more affordable.
-minionmommy
